This is a total shout-out to Kenzer and Company. I want to thank them for years of incredibly witty entertainment. If you’ve never read an issue of Knights of the Dinner Table, I can’t go any further without h-i-g-h-l-y recommending it! Here come my level 16 Mind-Control skillz… Go find these comic books and buy them! You can buy these products here. Here is part of one of my favorite bits from the comic. It is from Issue number 39, originally printed in January of 2000. It is a list of 40 things you can do with a dead follower NPC:
1. Shield against missles.
2. Battering Ram (after rigor mortis sets in)
3. Monster bait
4. Hireling morale “booster” (Look what happened to Fred! He didn’t follow orders…”)
5. Gag gift
6. Castle or Hood ornament (evil PCs only)
7. Distraction for pursuing/attacking monsters
8. Anchor (best if wearing armor)
9. Clumsy but effective missile weapon
10. Set off traps with.
11. Melee weapon (when swung by the heels).
12. Fertilizer
13. Treasure storage (may need to gut and clean first)
14. Source of magical spell material components.
15. Doorstop
16. Sell to necromancer or other corpse collector
17. Body parts can be used for practical jokes
18. Counterweight
19. Excessive mourning over body by PC may convince of his sincerity and sensitivity
20. Convenient person to blame (Party points to corpse and says “He did it!”)
21. Pit depth-testing
22. Put head on a pole as warning to others
23. low-lying obstacle (best if camouflaged)
24. Zombie servant (with animate dead spell)
25. Scarecrow
26. Puddle-crossing
27. Booby-trap (with appropriate spells or devices)
28. Emergency rations (only for very evil characters or extreme situations)
29. Monster snack
30. Get to drive in High-Occupancy lane without the annoyance of a living passenger
31. Chum
32. Receptacle for lost soul
33.Advertisement for mortician/taxidermist (prepared corpses only)
34. Extra weight for better vehicle traction
35. Weapons/spell test target
36. Catapult ammunition (best if diseased)
37. Glue (some processing required)
38. Opportunity for dramatic speech about revenge, etc.
39. Ventriloquist’s practice dummy
40. Raise up for monster fodder. Repeat as needed.
this article was credited to Larry ABodybag@ Granato.
Good Gaming,
Chris